I don’t believe in God.
            But there was a time when I said my prayers. For centuries, I followed your word blindly like a lamb to its slaughter, begging for something to lift this emptiness that has haunted me. Every day I implored for an answer; only later did I realize your silence was all I would receive.
            Very well then. If there is no salvation for me, then why is there salvation for the humans? Their morals are nothing but a sham packaged in selfish sentimentality. Integrity has turned into a relic: lost and buried within the darkness of their hearts. They spill their blood over the most trivial matters and commit countless atrocities only to purge themselves of their sins in honor of your name.
            If you are their guiding light, then I am the shadow that looms over their wretched souls. I am the darkness that will back them to a corner with a cross in their palms and have them begging on their knees. I will show them the bitter truth that will shatter their world when they witness the abyss you left me in. They will curse everything that you embody, and then you will understand. Only then will you answer.
            The sun continued to disappear in the horizon, its light consumed by the dark ominous clouds that had trailed behind it all day. Shortly after the last ray of light fell upon its slumber, the clouds vented with pouring rain, threatening to flood the roads of the city. A shadow emerged from a lonely alley.
            I take no pleasure or pride from this work. My veins do not pulse with fervor when their soft pink flesh peels to the floor, nor does my mouth water at the sight of cascading blood; yet I’ve killed and slaughtered so many. I’ve filled countless graveyards with the families and friendships I’ve crippled. What have you done about it? I still walk and breathe like the rest of them.
            The streets were nearly barren now. A few cars passed by as the lights from the local stores faintly flashed through the soaked windows. A man was lying down on the concrete, extending his hand to a woman in a black raincoat that was passing by. She only spared a glance and kept walking.
            Another day, another face, another corpse. Is this all part of your glorious plan? Or perhaps you hide in fear of what I’ve become. If you’re truly all-powerful and forgiving, then stop me, and it will all be over. Your creations will be safe from my grasp, and I will finally get the peace I deserve.
            The rain had diminished to a drizzle, its soft pitter-patter being the only sound on the quiet street. For a moment, it seemed as if the moon could shine through the darkness, almost casting its radiance upon the desolate city. But the silence was broken by the rage of the clouds that roared through the sky, plunging the city and its citizens to the abyss of the night. The scent had grown stronger.
            Do something! Don’t you see her life arriving at its end? The shrieks that pierce the air as her soul ascends into the sky? Do you care so little about your creations? I’ve unjustly waited for centuries, filling my mind with the choir of screams as they fall to the floor. I’ve done my time believing. Now I want answers!
            A flash of lightning illuminated the condominium. For a few moments, everything became still as if time had come to a stop. Another streak of lightning thundered across the sky as the clouds cried harder. The door opened.
            I lost everything in a blink of an eye, and the world just watched as they stripped me bare until an empty shell remained. Your creatures have spurned me as a token of imminent misfortune, leaving me to the pity of Death to end this suffering. Why didn’t you answer? What right did they have to cast me out?!
            The shallow breaths were the only sound to be heard. The shadow stood there, waiting for something to occur, something to stop him once and for all, but nothing moved.
            I approach my next victim, hoping each time it is the last one that will set me free. I can almost savor the bittersweet mellow of freedom. And yet this woman, who maybe never harmed a fly, will be dead. Her only sin was believing in you.
            The scent, sweet with perfume, had invaded every inch of the hallway. The shadow’s steps were barely audible, each soft thump bringing forth a heavy breath as the time came near.
            I don’t believe in God, but I pray with every kill. I pray that God will notice what I’ve done. I will give you another chance.
            The doorknob twisted.

______

            She woke up, her heart beating rapidly and forehead sweating. The room was consumed in darkness, partly illuminated from the moonlight that came from the window. Her eyes told her to go back to sleep, but then she noticed the faint smell of rain. She reached out to the lamp beside her bed, until her hand froze in mid-air at the sound of a gentle voice.
            “I would refrain from that if I were you. It is best to keep you in the dark.”
            She remained motionless, pondering on whether she should turn on the light. At last, her hand moved swiftly to turn on the lamp and pulled the string, but nothing happened. Her heart turned to lead, slowly sinking to her stomach.
            “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”
            “Who are you?” Her voice was a quivering whisper, fearing that any gesture of resistance will mark her for death.
            “I don’t know anymore.”
            “What are you doing here?” She slowly turned her head as a bolt of lightning flashed through the window, revealing a silhouette in her chair. Her eyes widened in horror.
            “Someone wants you dead. I don’t want to do it, but I have to do it. You don’t deserve this, nobody does, but I just happen to people.”
            “No!” She tried to scream, but all that came was a croak from her throat. Her face paled as tears sprung from her eyes and her hands tightened around her throat.
            “No one can help you here.”
            “Take whatever you want but please don’t—”
            “I’m not here for anything else.”
            “Please,” she begged, “Isn’t there s-something I can do? I don’t want to die…”
            “It doesn’t matter. The first rays of dawn will shine upon your corpse.”
            The woman buried her face in her hands and cried softly, her sorrow echoing freely throughout the room.
            “I owe you an apology.”
            The woman stared at the shadow and rubbed away her tears. “Why?”
            “It wasn’t supposed to be this way, but maybe that’s why I woke you up. This isn’t about you; You’ve done nothing wrong.”
            The woman could see how a dark figure that resembled a hand moved upwards for a few moments then lowered itself back down.
            “Then don’t do it. Y-you can simply walk away.”
            “They always say the same thing. That I should just turn my back on them. But if God wanted me to stop, he would’ve intervened.”
            The woman looked towards the light at the bottom of the door, hoping that someone would come to save her, only to lower her head with a heavy sigh. Her tears had dried up.
            “Can I say a few prayers then?” She sniffed loudly, her body shivering under the covers.
            “Yes.”
            She slowly reached for her drawer, grabbing a necklace with a golden cross. The woman closed her eyes and mumbled a string of prayers, appearing like a radiant angel that glowed in the moonlight. The shadow longed for comfort in her words, wishing her halo and wings would shine brightly and fill the room with hope. Suddenly, the moon was obscured by the rolling clouds, sending the room into despair.
            Will you forsake her as well, or will you finally answer?
            “Amen,” she whispered, opening her eyes and taking a deep breath. A strange sense of tranquility began to settle over her body, haunting it with an unnatural stillness.
            “Why did you pray? It didn’t change anything.”
            “Maybe, but now I feel less terrified. If He believes my time has come, so be it.”
            A blanket of silence fell over the room for a few moments.
            “Very well.”
            Dark circles appeared on the carpet floor beside the chair as the shadow stood up and approached her. A hand extended towards her and gently touched her forehead like a faith healer.
            “Will it hurt?”
            “No. I already did it.”
            The woman gave a small gasp as her head fell to the pillow and her eyes fluttered shut. The rhythm of her chest ceased.
            The droplets of rain tapped lightly against the window, creating a soothing atmosphere. The shadow lingered for a long time, waiting for a sign. The moon appeared once more, illuminating the sleeping woman with its warm and gentle embrace.
            The soul has gone and I remain…
            The light that shined through the bottom of the door remained undisturbed. The doorknob didn’t move. The hallway was dead silent.
            Another life taken in vain…
            No one came.
            I promise you, an answer I will obtain.
            Her face looked so peaceful.
            Amen.

About the Author

Giancarlos Dominguez is a 18 year-old undergraduate student majoring in computer science at SMU. Some of his hobbies consist of writing short stories, poems, and reading novels, particularly within the dystopian genre. He aims to encapsulate the infinite colors and faces of the human soul within the beauty of words for everyone to see.